"I would probably date Bella. Bella is the coolest girl, you know? Well, it depends if it was from the movie or the book version. In the book version, I'd do — what's her name? — Jessica. The cheerleader one." —Robert Pattinson actually prefers cheerleaders [MTV]

"A lot of those guys on the board can go and get my sandwich when I want, and I mean that in the nicest way. There are disco bands, rap bands, Yiddish folk song bands in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but not Kiss. I believe we have more gold records in America than any other group, but it's OK." Gene Simmons [Billboard]

"Bands don't do what we used to do. Bands don't have the theatrics. We were lighting ourselves on fire. I had a chainsaw and cut a nun's head off. You don't see that shit at all anymore, which is kind of sad." —Vince Neil missed the good ol' days [Rolling Stone]

"I did go to see James Cameron. He didn't give us his blessing, but he didn't shit all over our movie. When Jim was making Alien, he was following the great Ridley Scott, so he knows how we feel." —McG is tired of hearing that James Cameron hasn't blessed Terminator: Salvation [TotalFilm]

"We give presents to each other on Christmas Eve and the ones from Santa come on Christmas morning. We also line up from youngest to oldest on Christmas Eve and we march around the house in a line. We process around the house singing 'Silent Night.' The youngest child gets to put the infanta in the crèche. And if you were good, you get to put straw in the manger — everyone's been good so far." —Stephen Colbert on the Colbert-family Christmas tradition [USAT]

"They are trying to figure it out between me and Hillary, and I keep telling them I've got some things I can bring to the table that they've never had before." —Common is in the running for secretary of State [MTV]

Read more posts by Tammy Oler

Filed Under: common, gene simmons, mcg, movies, quote machine, robert pattinson, stephen colbert, twilight, vince neil

The 26-year-old Sweetin filed papers in Orange County, Calif., for legal separation from Cody Herpin, 31, whom the actress had once called a "blessing" who helped turn around her life after years of methamphetamine addiction.

The pair were married in July 2007 and welcomed a daughter, Zoie, this April. They recently announced they were working on a reality show together.

That's a new one, splitting up before their reality show airs. Maybe they can re-marry in time for the premiere? One can hope. One can only hope.

Here's a look back at some of the highlights of their marriage:

However, the pair is handling its problems in a mature fashion, reportedly seeking guidance from a couple's counselor. The main basis for contention, the newspaper writes, is Ronson's issue with Lohan being Lohan.

"Sam and Lindsay are still very much together and very much in love, but drama just seems to follow Lindsay, and Sam hates it," said an insider. "She deals with Lindsay every day. And every day for Sam means questioning, 'Is this worth it?'"

So far, it appears to be. After all, another source states:

"No matter what happens, at the end of the day, they are always fine."

Digital projection may be the future, but The Curious Case of Benjamin Button so thoroughly screws with the space-time continuum that recent, anticipated digital screenings went haywire, leaving everyone looking greenish and un-Oscarable. Since more screenings are being rescheduled, may we suggest Netflix's "Watch Instantly" feature on XBox360? It works great. [Variety, In Contention]

Read more posts by Logan Hill

Filed Under: A.V. Club, movies, oscars, the curious case of benjamin button

At this point, the only thing standing in the way of Pam and Jim giving fans the marriage they've been waiting for is if one of the couple gets hit by a truck. (Or a falling piano. Whichever.) Since Jim manned up and asked Pam out, the writers have been carefully planting land mines: Art school. Jim doppelgänger in New York. Jim’s jealousy and general lack of ambition. All easily tiptoed past, and not thought of again. Last night brought (another) potential deal breaker: Jim, a small-town imp socially just stunted enough to think it’s a good idea to buy his parents' house for him and his fiancée without telling her, unveils the “surprise.”

Pam is already about to freak out, realizing how little the office respects her — Ryan’s passive-aggressive demands that she clean the microwave were quietly humiliating. And Jim, with the house purchase, dismisses Pam’s thoughts just like everyone else. Quite a pickle! So he shows her the depressingly broken-down home — complete with a hideous, immovable clown in the living room — and … she cries and says she loves it. “You bought me a house!” Another land mine deftly sidestepped. If Jim were diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer, Pam would probably smile the tumor away. We’re glad they’re going to be together. Enough with the red herrings.

In other goings-on, Toby returns from Costa Rica, which also means a return of Evil Michael, who for reasons unknown despises Toby. It’s nice to have the blustering impotent Michael back, at least temporarily. Ryan and Kelly break up again, Dwight calls the police as Andy, and … well, that’s about it. Now there are two weeks off before the Andy-Angela wedding plans kick in at Schrute Farms; should we also expect Jim and Pam to face another “threatening” development?

Read more posts by Will Leitch

Filed Under: overnights, the office, tv

Mary-Kate Olsen and Mischa Barton cozied up at the landmark Grand Opening of Atlantis, the Palm Resort, and the Palm Jumeirah in Dubai, United Arab Emirates.

She may not be ordering many burgers, but Mary-Kate finds new boyfriend Nate Lowman delicious. Mischa hasn't swallowed anything since her Cisco Adler daze.

Mary-Kate Olsen and Mischa Barton cozied up at the landmark Grand Opening of Atlantis, the Palm Resort, and the Palm Jumeirah in Dubai, United Arab Emirates.

She may not be ordering many burgers, but Mary-Kate finds new boyfriend Nate Lowman delicious. Mischa hasn't swallowed anything since her Cisco Adler daze.

Today the New York Times reports that Angelina Jolie didn't just bank a $14 million payday for her baby photos — she demanded that People produce an "'editorial plan' providing a road map of the layout." Shocking? Unethical? We say: Awesome! At Vulture HQ, we've been rejoicing all morning. This means we might finally have our shot at a Q&A with Angelina — if our "editorial plan" is strong enough. So here goes! (Angelina, if the below proposal sounds good to you, please just leave your cell number in the comments and we'll get back to you.)

Dear Angelina Jolie,

New York would like to request an online Q&A for our socially conscious entertainment blog, Vulture. We do not have $14 million to offer. (In fact, we have substantially less, but on the positive side, it is all untraceable, in small, unmarked coins.) What do we have? An editorial plan that will knock your socks off. We won’t make you sound like Madonna at all!

1. Lede: Profile opens with natural, humanizing detail that presents you as just another American mom — but way hot and more morally centered. We say you and Brad are like “Jon & Kate Plus Eight — if Jon was a hot architect-actor and Kate was like a hot Obama and the kids were like young superhero prophets drafted from the far corners of the globe to save the world.”

2. Response to your critics: Angelina the Alchemist: We argue that selling baby pictures isn’t creepy at all. You’re like the girl who turned straw (the despicably craven impulses of the nasty media) into gold (a multi-million-dollar end to global suffering). And all those meanie “ethics” reporters are just jealous Rumplestiltskins.

3. We mention that since you started dating Brad, he doesn’t look anything like Kato Kaelin anymore.

4. 7,500 words on humanitarian issue of your choice. You can even pick the writer. We’ll just paste it in!*

5. Small scene: You deflower David Archuleta.**

6. Riff: On how you totally deserve an Oscar for Changeling. To make up for not getting one when you totally deserved it in A Mighty Heart. And Beowulf.

7. Highbrow quote to class up the interview, like this one from T.S. Eliot.

8. Sidebar: World hunger stats.

9. Sidebar: Maddox’s hair secrets.

10. Megan Fox's accurate description of you: “like a superhuman goddess!”

11. Not mentioned: that blood-filled vial necklace thing. It’s played out!

12. Also not mentioned: Jennifer Aniston. What a hater. Friends sucked, anyway.

13. Rebuttal: Your holistic worldview is nothing like Madonna’s. You’re so much more serious and un-publicity-stunty.

14. Tough questions: (These are negotiable.) Are you the best woman in the world because of your generosity, courage, or dedication? Do you consider yourself the most powerful woman in the world — more so than even German chancellor Angela Merkel?

15. We confess our love, and the look in your eyes tells us that you desperately want to run away to rural Pennsylvania with us and live off nothing but apples and Amish jelly — but now you have the kids to think about: “Perhaps in another life,” you whisper, while a witch doctor inks our matching tattoos.

16. Kicker: We observe some spontaneous, deep moment between you and Brad that makes us realize that everything about you is soulful and uncalculated!

* 4-point type
** Online slideshow and online video component.

Angelina Jolie’s Carefully Orchestrated Image [NYT]

Related: Angelina Jolie Really IS Manipulative and Conniving, Says the ‘Times’ [Daily Intel]

Read more posts by Logan Hill

Filed Under: angelina jolie, awesome, movies, new york times

But new reports are indicating that the nuptials are creating a series of problems for the Playboy model, her mediocre wide receiver of a fiance and others in the world of television. Here's are examples of the controversies caused by this couple:

• Following The Girls Next Door, Wilkinson was scheduled for her own reality show spin off. “It was supposed to be Kendra being even more...Kendra,” a source told E! Online. Now? A Newlyweds-type series is being considered.

• Along with the engagement news, it was announced that Wilkinson and Baskett would get hitched at the Playboy Mansion, with Hugh Hefner giving the bride away. But insiders say Baskett may not want someone that has seen his soon-to-be wife naked walking her down the aisle.

• Now, Kendra won't commit to any location for the wedding.

We'll keep readers apprised of the latest plans for these nuptials. For now, just one thing is certain:

Baskett and the Philadelphia Eagles need a major winning streak if they wanna reach the playoffs.

But new reports are indicating that the nuptials are creating a series of problems for the Playboy model, her mediocre wide receiver of a fiance and others in the world of television. Here's are examples of the controversies caused by this couple:

• Following The Girls Next Door, Wilkinson was scheduled for her own reality show spin off. “It was supposed to be Kendra being even more...Kendra,” a source told E! Online. Now? A Newlyweds-type series is being considered.

• Along with the engagement news, it was announced that Wilkinson and Baskett would get hitched at the Playboy Mansion, with Hugh Hefner giving the bride away. But insiders say Baskett may not want someone that has seen his soon-to-be wife naked walking her down the aisle.

• Now, Kendra won't commit to any location for the wedding.

We'll keep readers apprised of the latest plans for these nuptials. For now, just one thing is certain:

Baskett and the Philadelphia Eagles need a major winning streak if they wanna reach the playoffs.